I save my words in a napkin

Today someone threw at me that cliché sentence after I finished a song: “John, this will make you a huge star in the music business”. It made me think. Although I replied by saying something like “Keep dreaming”. Well, I’m free to say that I’m not sure if I want to become a silly stamp of a salesman. As a musician (and I consider myself and my band mates as true, hardworking, musicians) I ambition to be an artisan of music, not “muzak”. I don’t worry that my work’s spreading is small. I don’t bother the payroll being short. I wish to keep truthful to myself and the goals of life that made me departure from Portugal and leave all my family and friends. I came here not to become a rich person, but to enrich my love for music and have the opportunity of doing what I enjoy the most. However, I also need to keep paying my bills. I must be capable of combining both.

“God, that’s a really hard path to take!” –  I found myself thinking. All of this is like an infection really hard to fight back. A rash that is too severe not to scratch. It is a concern of all of us in these current times, I think.

Then, briefly, this uncomfortable state of mind ripples apart. A strange feel of accomplishment corrupts me and pulls me into a pitfall. Maybe it was the earnest need to survive in this “money made world” which I was familiarized since the day I’ve born, and since the day that my parents born, and theirs and so on… Maybe was the impulse to grab the thrown buck… Possibly was the fake empty joy of riding the tsunami wave of capitalism.

So much fluctuations of will cannot do well to a simple guy like me.  Who do I think I am now? Some hibrid version of Jean Paul Sartre and Nietzsche? I’m a musician, for god sake… Why am I concern about these things? Why aren’t we all? Why can’t be a change on this society? I think it is the time.

I save my words in a napkin… A napkin that is not made of paper but bits. I wipe my mouth on this blog and keep myself quiet… Not forever. Just for now

J. Mardigras

The short life of “Die Poney! Die!”

Front cover of DPD LP

“Die Poney! Die!” was our first LP and an independent production (even though we had some corporate sponsorship in about 20% of its distribution). “DPD” was intended to be a joke. As art it means nothing. It’s just a nearly 28 minute long cd although the songs were recorded and performed as a serious work. So it has that nice “volatility” of both sides per say. Everything was recorded and mixed in a friend’s (who unfortunately I cannot reveal) home studio. It was finished in June 2005. As a band we never urged for commercial success and always had displeasure for publicity.

Back cover of DPD LP

Since the 2005 LP was limited to 5 000 copies it is ok to publish the front and back cover images as long as all unaccredited identities remain unrevealed.

Art is credited to Korean virtual artist “Ki Bo” who we (the band) met in Toronto. He was a very funny fellow which we cherish even though we lost contact. It cost us maybe 30 Canadian dollars of beer (it was a nicely spent evening). As I stated above the art and album concept always was to us of a big joke. The LP box is just a simple cardboard envelope (very low cost since we were paying).

It was sold mainly during the shows of that year (but mainly given away at very “nice” girls and fans). Some went into small record shops in USA even though we had no commercial rights there at that time (and still don’t). By now it’s almost a collector’s item (even though if you find it you shouldn’t pay more than $5. At least I wouldn’t haha!).

We didn’t make any profit form the album sale but earned a bigger amount of fans and followers. I’m forced to admit that sometimes have enjoyed good female companionship thanks to a simple give away of “DPD”. Good times…

J.Mardigras